Gas, Slay, what’s next? Fire?

In the past decade, the term “gaslighting” has become increasingly popular, but very few people know what it actually means. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one individual deliberately attempts to make another feel confused, doubtful, or insecure—to the point that they question what is real, regardless of evidence.

The term originated from the 1938 play Gaslight, in which a devious husband attempts to make his wife believe she’s going mad. However, gaslighting has moved beyond that, and there has recently been an increase in the use of this term to describe smaller, less extreme, but still manipulative behaviors in everyday life. These can range from small lies such as complimenting someone’s outfit while secretly thinking they look ridiculous, to large, damaging lies, such as denying a partner’s abuse.

Now, a new term has been added to the lexicon—“slay”, which is an acronym for “skeptical, logical, analytical, and yet empathetic”. This term was developed to fill a gap in how we talk about emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation. ‘Slay’ encourages individuals to take a skeptic, logical and analytical approach to any situation they may be in, while still being able to show compassion and empathy to those implicated.

The term ‘slay’ allows us to more clearly identify and correctly identify manipulative behaviors, and encourages people to take action if they witness or are victims of gaslighting. While it does not have the same buzzwords or recognition as ‘gaslighting’ and has yet to become mainstream knowledge, it is the perfect term to sum up the best possible way to respond to and combat manipulative situations.

So, what’s next now that we have gaslighting and slaying? Fire. This term was developed by Catherine Chea, a UK-based psychotherapist, to “represent the proactive energy of standing up and having the sense of anger or rage finding its voice in reclaiming or reclaiming control of the narrative”. In other words, ‘fire’ is all about responding to manipulative (fire) situations with courage and pride, standing up for yourself and taking back the power that has been taken away from you.

Gaslighting, slaying and firing are all terms used to describe different responses to manipulation. Each of these terms can offer us new insights into how we can protect ourselves and others from manipulation. Gaslighting helps us to identify and recognize bad behavior, slaying encourages people to be empathetic yet logical in their approach, and firing reminds us to stand up for ourselves and reclaim our power.

So, if you’re ever faced with a manipulative situation, remember to ‘gas, slay, and fire’.